Teaching is an all consuming profession. Since moving back into the "classroom" at the beginning of August, I have experienced the constant teaching dreams/nightmares, the internal conversations of "is this right", "could I do this better", and the constant self questioning and reflecting that comes with teaching.
I can't say that I am engaged in a healthy dance presently between school and home. My goal at the beginning was to physically go to school twice a week but after sitting in a new school and a new classroom, while masking up every time I left the room to use the restroom, only to sit in front of a screen in a different location, I slowly started staying home more. My consolation with feeling like I pretty much stared at black zoom screens with students names while seeing my face staring back at me was that I could use my own bathroom and cuddle with my fur babies in between classes.
Last week I entered into the trough that all educators move through as the year progresses. The trough where personal motivation and joy becomes a rare commodity. I could feel myself sinking in a way that I didn't know how to find a lifeline. This new world of education where I speak to black screens and record lessons in Edpuzzle so that I can be sure that the learner is even on the other side of the screen. My love of creating and watching learners engage in discovery and sharing is currently hindered in this new kind of teaching where Zoom controls the flow of interaction.
So it is time for me to celebrate what I can see. It is time for me to celebrate what my students are doing and creating. It is time for me to rededicate myself to sharing and blogging in the hopes that I can feel less alone in this new world of virtual teaching. So the new chapter is now starting to be written.... I hope you enjoy it.